About a year ago I challenged myself in two areas that came together this summer.

The first challenge was in photography. I asked myself what type of photography I really wanted to be good at, and what it would take. I have done travel, portrait, some model, landscape, and a tiny bit of astro over the years. Whilst I find portrait super interesting, I decided that landscape is the thing for me. I am naturally drawn to it for all kinds of reasons. Then I decided that to become good at it, I didn’t need the new camera I was dreaming of (The Fuji X-T2!), but I needed to get out more (you probably heard that before; me too but this time I was serious). I challenged myself to stick to the gear I had (Fuji X-T1) and go out to get the best pictures I could get with it! To be honest, I had pretty much covered the bases in glass for my Fuji X camera so it really wasn't that drastic, but it is a mindset change. For example: I read about a Fuji XF 16mm f/1.4 and think: if I swap my 14mm for that I gain some capabilities and quality. Maybe, but I've hardly managed to reach the potential of the 14mm!. Do you get the point? Stop being a consumer and start becoming a photographer! 

The second challenge is related. I love the outdoors - before mostly on the water -  and had done some day-hikes recently. Nice but not getting yet to real backcountry territory where marvelous photo opportunities reside during early morning and sunset. So, I set my mind on doing a multi-day solo backpacking trip in the Pyrenees. I picked these mountains because I had only skimmed the surface of their wild beauty over the last years, and they have size, height, and remoteness that make for a great adventure. Decision was made, and I rid myself of all excuses, how logical they may be. My wife for example could think of safety concerns that were valid, but realised later that I really wanted it and supported me.  I believe that if it is something you really want, you can learn to do it. I started planning and preparing, a lot! What gear do I need? How will I navigate and communicate? What distance can I reach? What about bad weather? Routes?... I started practicing with a multi-day hike in the Eifel in Germany, using hotel accomodation along the way. Then I upsized my backpack to accomodate a new tent, mat, sleeping bag, cooking gear, food, etc. and started multi-day wild camping hikes in the Ardenne in Belguim. I did that like 5 times in different weather, and I got the hang of it.  And loved it, and felt confident. after that I was ready for my adventure in the Pyrenees. About 10 months after I started the two challenges I went on my way!

Can I mentally push myself?

I asked myself: How can I do something that I’ve not done before, can be real dangerous, life threatening? I would decribe my approach as follows: 

1. Accept no Excuses. Like I mentioned earlier, if I really want to do something, I have to stop making and listening to excuses, they are endless. Nobody knows what I can and cannot achieve, not even me.

2. Go step by step, focussing on the distant goal when I can, and on the immediate challenge in front of me when I must. This goes both mentally and physically when you hike so it is easy to apply.

3. Try, and find out how far you get and see from there. You will always achieve something and the journey itself is an adventure!

I found this very liberating and enabling. Worries are cast aside and decisions are made easier. What was key was the amount of planning and preparation. I read a lot internet articles about most things related, bought guide books and maps, became skilled in navigation tools, apps and route planning software, and tested all my gear at least once. I will write a seperate article about that. 

Now, once you are up there alone: how do you keep yourself together and push on? My wife asked me if I was scared at night, sleeping alone in the wild below the mountains, with risk of bad weather and wild animals outside, days hiking away from the nearest house? I just wasn’t. I had thought of all the challenges and enjoyed to be so immersed in nature. It made me feel very intense in the moment, at this beautiful place, knowing I was self-reliant. It felt really good, like I was made for this but I didn't know it before. Humans lived in nature for most of their existence and it is still in our genes. Being back home now in the city seems very dull in comparison, I am still adjusting! 

Can I physically pull it off?

I remember day four of the trip, it was pretty tough. I expected challenges on the trip, some even marked on my Gaia maps. There were those, and than this day had some more! I had planned to cross three cols that day from one valley into the next and the next etc, each of about 500-600m ascent. At the start I worried that I would have trouble navigating again like on the second day, when the camp site I had chosen was away from the track and I had had difficulty finding it back on the climb the following morning. I ended up several hours walking straight up a mountain side in boggy grass and each moment navigating on the phone (Gaia app) and correcting my way. It was so much slower and tiring than following markers. But on day four navigation started fine. Climbing the first col I developed a coping strategy to push myself: I divided the climb in three imaginary parts, so I could reach intermediary goals. Then I imagined that each part was a section of a classic drama (think Otello or Macbeth) The first one got the story set out. The second was long and got it developed and filled with suspense. The last section was the dramatic climax. I made up stories in my head to play out as I walked up and up. I repeated it for the next col, and when I got really really tired I also imagined that there was a platoon of soldiers with me and I was leading them up. If you have to lead it is simple: you go on. I know that this all sounds insane and I guess it probably is, but I attribute it to the physical and mental challenges as well as solitude. These absurdly fantastical versions of my inner voice did get the job done, however!

Purely physically, I experienced what I had before with other (sport) challenges: when you push yourself to leave your comfort zone (breathing hard, sweating all over, legs hurting, even dizziness and stomach in a knot) you are able to reach a new higher level of performance. And it feels great knowing you can. And the next time it gets easier because you are training your body. Going up boulder fields raised my heart rate high, and I was taking in immense quantities of water. But once I reached the top of each col I felt so great! It's just like any other sport, except that with this is is really difficult to give up once you've chosen a route. 

During these crossings I didnt see a single person that day. The fact that I was all alone was significant: I relied on only myself to stay out of danger. It added stress and adrenaline. Then after the climb the adrenaline was replaced by endorphins that made me feel great and motivated me to take on the next valley and col. I think that we humans are chemical factories, and their processes run our body and mind. Top sporters have this all figured out! 

Unfortunately, I did had some bad weather that caused me at first to pass by my planned camp site, and later resulted in a bit of panic when I was climbing at 2700m to cross the last (fifth) col that day. This must have been at 6pm in the evening and I was absolutely tired. The storm looked bad (see picture below that I took with my iPhone, because the camera was in the backpack because of the rain) and I was in a wrong spot. Going back was a bad option, hours down to a suitable camp site. I had to push on to get over this col fast and into the next valley! I continued on pure will power. 

Did I get the photos I was looking for?

Photography was a big part of why I got out there, so did I get the photo's I wanted? To be clear, my trip goals were 50:50 hiking and photography. This decision came up when planning my packing: will I take the extra lenses and the great tripod, or do I stick to a max weight target (say 15kg)? My short trips had warned me about the burden of a heavy pack, especially for climbing. But the 15kg pack was not going to be realistic either. I was going to bring at least the camera with a big lens, filters, batteries, and as a minmum a mini tripod. The eperienced sales person in my outdoor store (Bever) helped me greatly: forget about that Osprey Exos or Levity light weight packs for your 5 day camping trip with photo gear! You need a strong pack that can handle the weight (18-20kg) and keep it comfortable over the days.

I briefly considered a fully photography-focussed trip. Spotting the locations in Flickr, social media and Google Earth, planning drives and short walks there... They would be the more popular scenic locations, it would be more crowded, especially in the summer. It wouldn't feel like exploring to me and it provides the artistic trap of copying the work you have seen from others. It didn't inspire me; what I was looking for was remoteness, exploration, connection with nature, opening my eyes to its beauty and capturing that. 

So, in this 50:50 deal I ended up bringing two zoom lenses and a light tripod, as follows:

• Fuji X-T1 body (I know it's 'old', but see my challenge on top and I love the color rendering :-)

• Fujinon XF 10-24mm f/4 (super wide angle with IOS, best quality/weight compromise for landscape)

• Fujinon XF 55-200mm f/3.5-4.8 (tele with IOS, this lens is sharper than my Nikon 70-200 f/2.8, and I use it much more because it is like 1/3 of the Nikon's weight!)

• Manfrotto aluminium light travel tripod with Really Right Stuff Acro Swiss release plate with fast lever (the tripod was 80 euro, the release plate like 200!)

• Polariser and 10-stop ND filters, adaptor rings, 4 spare batteries, cable release)

A dificult decision was to bring two lenses (wide, tele) in stead of one travel zoom, the XF 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6. That one is weather sealed (WR) and also has IOS and is a really great 'All in one' travel lens. But at the long end it looses a tiny bit of sharpness, and the XF 55-200mm excels in that range. I decided I really needed that long tele range because I was going to be up in the mountains and interested in capturing distant compressed perspectives. 

The other more straight forward consideration was to stick with the zooms and not bring a prime lens. One day I will go 'pure' with only my XF 14mm f/2.8 and XF 56mm f/1.2, but I'm not there yet, in that zen space.

So what did all this camera gear (±3kg) and hiking get me? See below some of my processed results to date. I'm still working on it but I am very pleased with the images that capture the beauty, scale and atmosphere of the rugged outdoor :-). 

For those of you who read all the way to the bottom (THANK YOU!) here is my take on the challenges:

Photographic: My pictures got better, many are at a level that I am very pleased with. I contribute that to the creative juices that were flowing and the practice. I also developed a better sense of weather, time and locations to decide when to go where. All of this gives me much better than any new camera or lens can! I succeeded in this challenge and can recommend it to you all if you haven't tried this already.

Hiking: I completed the 6-day solo-wild camping trip, I survived, and I liked it. It made me believe almost anything is possible if you really want it and set your mind to it. One afternoon I stood on a mountain col and looked back and saw where I came from and thought: did I walk all that way, wow? I did it step by step... So can you, whatever it is that you want to achieve!